Six months ago, on July 19th, I gave birth to my second kid. Somewhere between then and now, I managed to figure out a routine (kind of). I don’t know how anyone manages to do anything between birth and now as I’m only just starting to feel like I’m reconnecting to the world.
Even so, I’d had a lot more planned to be going on by this point. I’d wanted to be in my pre-pregnancy jeans by now (I’m close but still got a bit to go, so I’m hunkering down to get in them by spring). I’d wanted to get a bit further in Skyrim. Oh, and I’d wanted to get my birth story typed up.
That last one should have been straight forward, but it hasn’t been. At first, it was because a lot happened that made it scary (even though things turned out okay) and every time I tried to sit down to type it up, I’d get stuck in the emotions. So here I am, six months later, still trying to figure out how to tell the story the way I want it told. I didn’t have control over how it happened, but I have a choice over what the take away is. I have a distaste for the pregnancy horror stories in which the goal seems to be to terrify rather than edify.
The narrative I want for what happened is one that points to how things are complicated and messy. How expectations aren’t always obvious. How sometimes it hurts and not in a physical way. How there is beauty at the end and how it can take time to see that beauty and time to feel okay with that beauty.
Until then, this is all I’ve got.
Life, My RL RPG 
Of course, as an possible future-mom, I am definitely interested in your story (plus, you rock as a writer), but at the same time I can sympathize with the aspects of trauma that is associated with it–something I think you’ve captured so beautifully (despite its nonspecificity) here. I hope you can get to the point where you’re able to articulate that event in a way that leads to healing. <3